How to embrace each day when we slow down

What is it really that makes us move on and go ahead with our day to day life ? Have we ever thought and asked ourselves why do we need to go on with each day? What is it that drives us on? It is either work or family.Most of us feel it is just to pay the bills we need to move out and work. What happens when we have fulfilled all our goals for professional as well as personal life.

After having an eventful active life it is not easy to slowdown and embrace the calm. It is here we need all the reasons to look forward to. I constitute this look-forward-to as an important ingredient to stay healthy and wise. The day this element goes missing we feel a sense of futility in everything around us. I see a lot of people going through this phase when they suddenly make a transition from active busy life to a sedentary slow life.

Things stop to happen when there is nothing to look forward to. It is very crucial to give ourselves a daily dose of something to do to sustain.Especially when we retire from work and even our children are settled in their own lives. The phrase ‘look-forward-to’ means to think of (a future event) with pleasurable, eager anticipation. This is what makes our morning brighter and the chain reaction to a lovely day begins.As long as we stay committed to ourselves that we will add more to our day in terms of experiences it works wonders. The  lines below can certainly give us a bit of direction.

Let us keep the promise

to move on, no matter

what comes our way

Never stop looking forward to

# Having a lovely breakfast

# Call up an old friend

# Read a nice book

# Watch some movie

# A new hair cut

# Sitting out in sun on a nice day

# A glass of  wine

# Going out for a nice cup of coffee

# Feed the birds

# simply indulging in something sweet

# Fresh and warm chocolate chip cookie

# Blossoming of flowers

The list is endless and anyone can make their own customized look-forward- to if we sincerely have the will there is absolutely a way to embrace each day.

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In between

Neither here
Nor there
Not now
Not later
This or that I can’t tell
May be or may be not
Will be probably

This is what matters most
Everyday we live in between
Friends and foes
Promises kept and broken
Year of victory and of loss

Somewhere between vice and virtue
Lies the destiny that is true
No matter what
It is always there somewhere
Our fate in between
All those moments
Lived or lost

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Ignore inexperienced Mr. Know all

It is about all those people who have a little knowledge that truly is dangerous. Most of us come across these Mr. Know alls who probably know nothing . The emptier the vessel of their experience the bigger noise they make.
The best way to define them is that they are extremely curious and want to know about anything and everything. Even if that knowledge could probably be of no use to them yet they waste their time on it.
Cooking is one of my hobbies and it is my outlet. Close friends and family know about it. They have always been very appreciative. There are people who have rich experience in this field but they never advice me on anything. They will certainly help me if I need it otherwise they stay out of it. Honestly kitchen is my domain and I love to put ‘do not disturb'(if I get a chance to do so)
One can not be lucky all the time. There are times when I do get disturbed. The most annoying is when you get advice from someone who has never cooked at all.
Trust me it is so easy to judge if someone is lying. Especially after that show on Anderson live where a woman who wrote a book on how to detect liars, it has become a lot easier.
The best way to identify them is they will hyperbole and add words like always or mostly in their sentences. Along with you will find a lot of non verbal signs to read.
The point is that the Mr. Know alls are the biggest waste of time. It is really important to ignore them. Trust your own knowledge and skills. And never let anybody else takeover with their too little knowledge.

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An eternal couple- Samosa and Chai

I don’t know when and where

Or how exactly it started

But it truly is the best marriage

Together they are the best

 

Over an endless number of times

I had them and yet

Each time experience is different

How could I imagine my life

Without them

 

Not just the days but the moments

The thoughts shared and ideas exchanged

Discussions and meetings

Plans to follow and news

From around the world

 

Laughs and grudges

I have complaints

Or some compliments

Almost the time

To run back

 

Such a delight

To spend a few minutes

With the couple

Unwind and be ready

To grind again

 

God bless them

As they never fail

To do their duty

Take me back to the time

The words for words

 

Definitely learned a lot

While having them

How could I not thank you

For being in my life

 

 

 

 

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Struggle is same everywhere-Finding a companion is not easy anywhere

Life’s two biggest searches are probably finding the right career and right match. If you have got the best of career then next important task is to find someone to share your life with. For some people it is real easy while others go through a long struggle to search someone special. 

I am a married Indian woman and moved to Canada nearly three years ago. In India arranged marriages are still the most prevalent norm. Families are more involved in the process than the bride and the groom themselves. Though the whole idea seems absurd in this part of the world but it works wonderfully there.  I have observed parents searching the partner for their children when they reach marriageable age. At times it looks more like trial and error process. They go through the list of responses they have received through the matrimonial classifieds and shortlist them. Sometimes it is hilarious to see the way brides and grooms are advertised in the classified columns of daily newspapers.

Despite the help from different marriage bureaus, matrimonial ads, websites and friends or family the search can even take couple of years or more. Along with there are added pressures of getting old or passing the marriage age (roughly 18-25). The older you get the tougher it gets to find the right match. Wherever you go we usually come across people connecting with new affluent people to seek match for someone in their family who is ready to get married.

I always thought that this is one big problem. May be we used to live in a closed society where the concept of dating is alien to most people. To be more precise it is generally not acceptable. Parents take it as their responsibility to get their children married when they are of the age. For very traditional and conservative families the rules are even stricter. Honestly I have come across numerous such cases where parents tried very hard to get their daughters or sons married. The pressure is mostly more on the parents rather than the bride or the groom to be.

Seriously, I felt that this problem would not have been that big if we leave the decision to the ones who are actually going to get married. The boy and girl can go through the process of searching and then proceed with their choice.  This is highly impossible right now but may be with the passage of time things might change. At least the parents will be saved from all the added stresses.

 In contrast finding the right one in Canada is lot easier in comparison to India because it is solely the decision of the people involved in a relationship. I visualized this as a different world altogether. Here dating is a very normal practice. Boys and girls are free to meet up and know each other before they tie the knot. No restrictions and obligations and no added stress for the parents to search. Here people can get married whenever they want to.

The reality in this country is even worse than what I thought. I have seen well accomplished, well educated, well networked or connected singles and yet they are not able to find the right match. These are the girls who go on dates and have freedom to live life the way they want. But even then they struggle hard to get married.  Let me be very clear I am not trying to generalize the whole case yet I know some friends and cousins of mine who are going through this phase.

One reason might be these girls have achieved so much at a young age. They look great and lively to be with. To sum up- smart, sassy, sexy and stylish modern women. May be the standards are too high to match with someone.

The problem is not just restricted with the girls but boys  as well. Many of my husband’s single friends who are ready to settle down but they also fail to find the right match. They have the best of the careers and doing well for themselves. No interference and freedom to meet up for dates but even then it has been more than three years since they are on a look out with no positive results.

Probably the stakes involved are too high to match their expectations. I believe it is even more difficult process as it is purely their decision.  A single person is responsible for one’s big decision. Ironically the singles who are ready to mingle (as in matrimony) are even more stressed out than the ones in India.

Whatever the place might be getting married or precisely finding life partner is not easy.   Arranged marriage basically eases off the burden as it is a collective decision of the family whereas here it is solely your own. I really look forward to see all of my single friends’ struggles with the search to be rightly rewarded very soon. Honestly, marriage is not a big deal all that matters is their happiness whether single or mingled.

To all of these friends I can give only one advice that my mother used to say “marriage is like a big gamble, however much you know a person before but the real knowledge begins when you start a life together.”

 

 

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Green summer vs White winter !!!!

On a low cast gloomy day of winter our heart longs to see sunshine and summer greenery around. The mere idea gives us the comfort and convenience of being outdoors.  We all try to make hay while sunshine. The warmer climate has more tendency to add genuine warmth and positive vibe to a day. But we all know that good things don’t last for long. Here in North America summers are short yet it is the best time of the year.

Each day is exclusive and it comes only once in a year. It  is so fortunate for us to go through the weather transitions each year. Nature’s way of saying life changes, grows and take a different form from what it was before.

Imagine a year that does not go through different seasons–spring, summer, fall and winter. Each one has its own charm and beauty.  Same season throughout the year will be homogeneous. How will we realize the difference between pleasant spring, warm summer, colorful fall and cold winter.

The green in summer is so fresh and alive. It makes us go ahead with our plans on anything. So much to look forward to and is all about outdoors. Going out is so much fun and a lot easier. It is like long awaited sweet treat after a boring dinner. It looks so amazing and lovely. This is where I go for my daily walk and for me it is the best place to refresh my mind. The pictures were taken during the summer.

Now it is winter and the scene has changed altogether and you wonder ‘was this the same place I used to come for walk’. It takes an extra effort to go out as you need to bundle up and pack yourself before you leave the indoors. Then tread on the same road that may be slippery too. Finally you reach there.

Wow , it is an equally amazing sight to see. In some other parts of the world people travel and cover long distances to see the snow. Here it took exactly  five minutes walk to reach  the spot. Isn’t it amazing so pristine and white. Again it is only now we can see it because it will be gone too. I am glad that I took the effort to move out otherwise I would have missed so much.

Chirping sparrows

I remember these birds  were there in summer too and now in winter they looked even more alive. It was as if they were giving me a message to embrace each day as it is  and remember this too is not going to last long.

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New year or New morning- what difference does it make !!!!!

Brand new, such  an amazing feel one gets with the word new. Here it is we are at the beginning of 2012. Just like a new born baby, gives such a nice feel. A time of resolutions and to make fresh start once again on a clean slate .

It is so important to take time off and recollect all that is found  as well as lost during the course of a time. Imagine what it would be like if we keep on running the rat race without pausing anywhere. What if there is no transition from dawn to dusk, spring to summer or even fall to winter. What a homogenous world it will be. The same time period going on forever. I believe it is nature’s way of saying—‘wait, think and plan’. Nothing like a planned thing. Obviously, everything works out better but sometimes it does not work as planned. Even then it is one step ahead of where we were before.

The time of the year has arrived again to retrospect and inspect for the future. As always we tend to focus more on what is missing and less on what has been accomplished. Even the worst of the years have something of relevance for us. Try hard to think but I could only see that through those experiences I have learned more.  Oprah said “when you know, you do better”  in her lifeclass.

Anyways, not to delve too deep into the lavity and gravity of the things. Why do we need to wait for the new year to make resolutions. Each morning presents a hope and an opportunity to start afresh. December is as good a month to start afresh as January.

The best time to make resolution is morning. Everyday is a new day and a new beginning. It is different than yesterday and more alive than tomorrow. What matters most is now.

Here is my day beginning with a new resolution to write more and share more. It is such a liberating and amazing feel to do something new each morning. I like to remind myself and all of you there that if we want to do something then time is now and place is here. Then we all know that there are No limits ! No limits.

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